mine

I hope to raise boys who are less self centered than I am. I want them to be boys who think of others needs before their own and who can look at the whole world and help to make it a better place for all. It's not an easy task...It's difficult even just amongst the 2 of them. Growing up, I had friends who didn't get along with their siblings at all, and I even had my fair share of not getting along with my own brother (whom I now adore:). I know that it's part of growing up and learning how to love difficult people (yes, let's admit it, siblings can often be difficult). But, I feel a large sense of responsibility in teaching my boys about how to really love each other. I hope this will be the beginning of them learning to really love the rest of the world.

One of the words that all too often comes out of the boys' mouths is "mine". I've begun to despise this word. It is almost always meant to be hurtful and often precedes or happens during an argument. It is never said while thinking of the other person's wants or needs. In our house, we've decided to ban this word. We have now made "mine" a garbage word (our list of words that belong in the garbage, not on lips).

It's odd, until now I've never looked at the word "mine" negatively. It's used to show possession, and I do understand that at times this word is necessary. I also realize that throughout history and all over the world this little word has been very hurtful and destructive; "that slave is mine", "that resource is mine" (money, oil, diamonds, etc), "that land is mine" (Israel/Palestine, Colonials/Native Americans, etc). Could it be that we overuse this little word? Could it be that we as individuals and as individual societies too often think about our own needs before thinking about the needs of others? What would happen if we took a bit more time before using this seemingly inconsequential word? Would a decline in use of one word, that nobody pays much attention to, repair relationships? Encourage peace? Sow love?

I don't know...but in our house, in my limited experience, that's what happens. In our own small world, this word has very little place. I just wonder what would happen if the whole world used it even a bit less, with more thought to the consequences.

I know that I'm oversimplifying things. Even as I write this, I had my kids put their names on coloring books they each received at a birthday party yesterday, signifying "mine". And no, I'm not advocating for socialism. I'm advocating for individuals (me, my children, hopefully others) to care less about their own possessions and more about the needs and feelings of others. Isn't this a concept that is presented in most, if not all, religious doctrines? Isn't this what Jesus was all about? Seems so simple. Why is it so difficult?

my bubble

I've been thinking about starting a blog for quite some time. Yet I always talk myself out of it, I come up with many different reasons why I shouldn't blog. I am one of those people who isn't good at surface stuff. I have to go deep. This makes the thought of starting a blog extremely vulnerable. Therefore, it's been pretty easy to talk myself out of it. Something changed today, I had an epic run. It was a beautiful day, and I was running with my dog on the beach trail and instead of talking myself out of starting a blog...I talked myself into it.

So here I am "attempting to pop my bubble". My bubble is good; It's great in fact! I grew up in a wonderful bubble oblivious to the world around me (except for the good parts), and It was a beautiful childhood. I'm just beginning to understand this barrier around me that still shelters me from the world. This bubble would be so easy to perpetuate for our family. I have admit, the thought of my children having that idyllic childhood is apealling and is easy to do. But, I've already gone too far, dug too deep, into the affect our thoughts and actions have on everything. In that bubble, I allow myself to ignore the suffering, the pain, the differences, and the world around me. When I do that, I know that I am not living the life that I am meant to live. I know that I am not loving to the extent that I am made to love.

I decided to start this so that I could be accountable, to me, to you, to the world at large. Shouldn't we all be accountable to each other? Don't we too often live closed lives in an attempt to shut people out? Whether we are talking about our borders as a country, or our communities and neighborhoods, I so often find we live in a culture where it is easier to shut out rather than open up. Me writing these words is my attempt to open up even when it's not easy. It makes my thoughts real...my deep thoughts and hard questions that I ask myself and want to ask others, but often are easier to ignore. These questions are hard because they often have no answers, because they cause controversy and are uncomfortable. They take us outside the comfortable walls of the bubble. Yet, I know that the asking of them is necessary. Necessary for me so that I can learn and grow, necessary for my children so that they can push the envelope and do great things, and necessary for society so that we can learn to love and serve each other unconditionally.