mine

I hope to raise boys who are less self centered than I am. I want them to be boys who think of others needs before their own and who can look at the whole world and help to make it a better place for all. It's not an easy task...It's difficult even just amongst the 2 of them. Growing up, I had friends who didn't get along with their siblings at all, and I even had my fair share of not getting along with my own brother (whom I now adore:). I know that it's part of growing up and learning how to love difficult people (yes, let's admit it, siblings can often be difficult). But, I feel a large sense of responsibility in teaching my boys about how to really love each other. I hope this will be the beginning of them learning to really love the rest of the world.

One of the words that all too often comes out of the boys' mouths is "mine". I've begun to despise this word. It is almost always meant to be hurtful and often precedes or happens during an argument. It is never said while thinking of the other person's wants or needs. In our house, we've decided to ban this word. We have now made "mine" a garbage word (our list of words that belong in the garbage, not on lips).

It's odd, until now I've never looked at the word "mine" negatively. It's used to show possession, and I do understand that at times this word is necessary. I also realize that throughout history and all over the world this little word has been very hurtful and destructive; "that slave is mine", "that resource is mine" (money, oil, diamonds, etc), "that land is mine" (Israel/Palestine, Colonials/Native Americans, etc). Could it be that we overuse this little word? Could it be that we as individuals and as individual societies too often think about our own needs before thinking about the needs of others? What would happen if we took a bit more time before using this seemingly inconsequential word? Would a decline in use of one word, that nobody pays much attention to, repair relationships? Encourage peace? Sow love?

I don't know...but in our house, in my limited experience, that's what happens. In our own small world, this word has very little place. I just wonder what would happen if the whole world used it even a bit less, with more thought to the consequences.

I know that I'm oversimplifying things. Even as I write this, I had my kids put their names on coloring books they each received at a birthday party yesterday, signifying "mine". And no, I'm not advocating for socialism. I'm advocating for individuals (me, my children, hopefully others) to care less about their own possessions and more about the needs and feelings of others. Isn't this a concept that is presented in most, if not all, religious doctrines? Isn't this what Jesus was all about? Seems so simple. Why is it so difficult?